"Tonight my heart broke..."

Sunday Night:

         My 8 year old daughter Kahleah (Guatemala) confided in me tonight that she is being harassed at school. It broke my heart to have my beautiful little girl hold back tears as she explained how older boys and girls (who do not know her) tease her. Kahleah is in 3rd grade.

It starts each morning on the bus. The grade 3-5 students sit towards the back of the bus. Kahleah is one of the last students picked up in the morning. As she makes her way to the back of the bus, students will not let her sit down with them and there is never a completely vacant seat so she must try numerous times to sit with non welcoming kids. They try to push her off the seat and/or take her belonging and throw them. When the bus arrives at school, the kids do everything in their power to not let her pass so that she is the last child off the bus.

IIn the school corridor they tease her about her name, call her "Chinese" and say that she has lice. They make a point of walking around her so as not to stand too close.

She is so hurt. I could tell she did not want to tell me. This is the same little girl that is very compassionate towards everyone and would stand up for anyone in the same situation. She is disappointed that her best friends have not rallied around her as she would for them.

Tomorrow morning Kahleah's Daddy and I will visit her teacher, school principle and speak with the bus driver. Her teacher is wonderful and adores Kahleah. (Kahleah has not confided in her though). On Friday I had our Nov. parent-teacher meeting. I wish Kahleah would have mentioned these problems BEFORE the meeting. Her teacher told me that Kahleah is a delight, excels in every subject and gets along with everyone in her class. She always has! The problem ALWAYS seems to be with older students that have not had the opportunity to know my daughter therefore are judging her in a very racist way. My poor baby girl. I love her so much...my heart hurts. She is always so sensible and tried to deal with it on her own. She said, "Mommy, at first they were just bugging me. I tried to ignore them. Then they were getting on my nerves. Now they hurt my heart." She loves school and learning with a passion. How dare these kids make my daughter dread going to school!!!!!!!

I pray the school does not disappoint me and takes action.

Monday Morning:

I am exhausted. Could not sleep last night. All I could see was my beautiful daughters sad eyes.

This morning Kahleah, Daddy Jean and I arrived at her school early. We arrived before the principal so we asked if Kahleah's teacher had arrived yet. (We had hoped to start at the "top").

We made our way to Kahleah's classroom. Monique appeared surprised to see us. I started to explain the type of harassment Kahleah had been suffering (in silence) lately. Kahleah continued to tell her story and I was overwhelmed by how straight, tall and proud she stood. Such grace! A stiff upper lip. Clear and concise. I lost it...and started to cry. Kahleah's teacher hugged me for a long time, with tears in her own eyes. She then hugged Kahleah and told her what a precious and wonderful child she was. She told us not to worry...she would take care of everything! She would speak to the principal and the principal would speak to the bus driver (giving Kahleah an assigned seat near the front of the bus). Kahleah will provide the names of the offending (%^&#$@$%) students and each one will be spoken to. If the harassment continues we will take further action.

I know we did the right thing by taking immediate action. We had to assure Kahleah that we would be her advocates and fight for her right to attend school free of racism and harassment. Funny thing is, she already understood her rights but tried to deal with the situation on her own. She looked so confident and proud walking into the school this morning with her Mommy and Daddy at her side. We would not have made the same impact, to Kahleah, if we had waited even one more day before dealing with the very painful situation.

My concern was the reaction of the school. I knew I would scream if they said, "Kids will be kids!" "Kids are cruel at this age!" Maybe a lot has changed since I went to school....

I have discussed the situation with the mother's of Kahleah's closest friends, only one of which takes the same school bus as Kahleah. Poor little girls were truly oblivious to what Kahleah was going through. Maybe it is because of Kahleah's strength and determination not to let the children know they were hurting her. Kahleah has decided to speak with her best friends and explain the situation. She has great friends. Not even Mommy sensed there was a problem until she had had enough.

I will now do MY homework and see what I can find and try to have it adapted to fit Kahleah's school and situation.

Tuesday Afternoon:

Kahleah met with the principal yesterday afternoon. The principal was very warm, understanding and reassured Kahleah that she would discipline every one of the harassing students. She made Kahleah promise to tell her or her teacher immediately if it EVER happens again.

After school the principal accompanied Kahleah on to the bus. She asked Kahleah to point out the offenders (little brats :o) and she took the kids off the bus and spoke to them outside. Kahleah could not hear what she said. I asked Kahleah if she found it uncomfortable to point out the kids and she said, "No! I loved it!"

Last night Kahleah slept like a baby. She waited for the bus this morning with confidence, her little brother standing beside her. Tristan (5) told Kahleah that if anyone bugged her, not to worry, he would punch them. She said, "No honey...that is not acceptable".

Life goes on....

What was breaking our hearts two days ago has left my family feeling closer and empowered. I can not totally stop others from hurting my children but I can try my damnedest and prove to my children that they can always come to Mommy and Daddy about anything.

Leceta Chisholm Guibault